One card. One lousy card left to complete my 2009 Topps Heritage Baseball short set. And it's Scott "bleeping" Baker.
Can you believe it? The strangest cards end up being the last ones needed to put a bow on a set. Not A-Roid, not Pujols, not Pedroia. Baker.
I don't know where Baker is hiding, but I do know this: not one retail pack, not one blaster has gone unturned at my local Target, nor has any blogger I know not already been pestered to death for card #82 by yours truly. I also know this: Someone, out there, somewhere, is protecting old Baker because they simply just can't let go of this card. Well, let me tell ya something, Twins card fanatic. Or closet Scott Baker super collector. Really? Seriously? Are you this close to completing this year's 425-card Heritage short set? No. Of course you're not. Or perhaps you already have a couple Bakers, secretly, yes, in which case (in full Keith Olbermann voice) you, dear sir or madam are just plain C-R-U-E-L!
So, now that that is out of the way, I'm asking ... no, I'm begging: please, PLEASE trade me this card, won't you? Each time I burrow through my box with puppy dog eyes, whimpering, hoping beyond hope that perhaps #82 is stuck to another card, mixed in with the doubles, in there SOMEWHERE, I am painfully reminded of reality, the reality that, it is in fact, NOT there. And I slam the box down. A solitary reminder. Sadder than "Brian's Song." Sadder than watching Hulk Hogan sadly and slowly become a parody of himself. Sadly and slowly. Sadder than watching someone buy this. I mean really, this is sad. You don't want me to CRY every time I look at my Heritage cards, DO you??
Please help. Please help me track down this lone, standoffish, doesn't-like-to-play-with-others card. (feeling guilty, Baker? Good!)
Listen and listen well, I have my eye on you #82. You can't hide forever. Mark my words. Justice shall be served!