(Special thanks to Greg @ Night Owl Cards for allowing me to rip-off one his all-time great posts. At least I hope he does. *Fingers crossed*)
One card. One lousy card left to complete my 2009 Topps series 1. And it's Jeff "bleeping" Francoeur.
Can you believe it? The strangest cards end up being the last ones needed to put a bow on a set. Not A-Roid, not Pujols, not Pedroia. Francoeur.
I don't know where Francoeur is hiding, but I do know this: not one retail pack, not one jumbo, not one cereal box has gone unturned at my local big box outlets, nor has any blogger I know not already been pestered to death for card #42 by yours truly. I also know this: Someone, out there, somewhere, is protecting old Franky because they can't let go of a card that has that beautiful Atlanta "A" next to his name. Well, let me tell ya something, Braves card fanatic. Or secret Jeff Francoeur super collector. Are you this close to completing Topps series 1? No. Or perhaps you already have a couple Francoeurs, secretly, yes, in which case (in Keith Olbermann voice) you, dear sir or madam are just plain C-R-U-E-L!
So, now that that is out of the way, I'm asking ... no, I'm begging: please, PLEASE trade me this card, won't you? Each time I burrow through my box with puppy dog eyes, whimpering, hoping beyond hope that perhaps #42 is stuck to another card, mixed in with the doubles, in there SOMEWHERE, I am painfully reminded of reality, the reality that, it is in fact, NOT there. And I slam the box down. A solitary reminder. Sadder than "Marley and Me" (and you thought that was a happy movie). Sadder than watching Evander Holyfield get back in the ring again. Sadder than watching someone buy a five-dollar repack box. You don't want me to CRY every time I look at my Topps cards, DO you??
Please help. Like these generous souls and countless others that already have.
Generous souls? Nay, downright heroes they are, true American heroes! They sent me all of the cards that I needed to get me down to this lone, standoffish, doesn't-like-to-play-with-others card. (feeling guilty, Francoeur? Good!)
Listen and listen well, I have my eye on you #42. You can't hide forever. Justice shall be served!